Hopeless Heart (Regency Romance) Page 8

  He turned around and hurried home waving a casual goodbye over his shoulder as he went before Georgiana could reply.

  “You must be exhausted from all that travelling,” Ruth murmured in a most motherly fashion. “Come in and make yourself at home, my dear. While you are here, you must consider this your home too.”

  “That’s very kind of you,” Georgiana murmured. “Especially when I have been so rude.”

  “Rude, dear?” Ruth stopped plumping cushions and looked at her. “How have you been rude?”

  “By arriving unannounced,” Georgiana explained. “I didn’t have the time to write to you, you see. Everything went horribly wrong at home and I just couldn’t bear living in Cecily’s company a moment longer. I am so stifled there I cannot breathe. I just had to get away but had nowhere else to go.”

  A knowing glint appeared in Ruth’s eye. If she was honest, she had been expecting this exact circumstance any day now, especially since Georgiana had come of age. Anybody who spent any amount of time in Cecily’s company needed to take some time to themselves to recover. Cecily had a cloying personality that overwhelmed people and, for someone as kind hearted and loyal as Georgiana, that would inevitably lead to problems.

  “I understand,” Ruth murmured.

  Georgiana nodded. Her aunt was probably the only person alive who understood her point of view and agreed with it. In that moment she realised she had an ally, someone who would stand beside her and help her. It made the pressures and worries of her recent ordeal vanish. Unfortunately, weariness was left in its wake and she suddenly struggled to hide her exhaustion.

  “Thank you,” Georgiana whispered.

  Ruth patted the back of her hand. “You are welcome to stay here for as long as you want to, my dear. Now, you must be tired after that journey so let me show you to your room.”

  “Mr Parker has been wonderful company. He is a very nice man,” Georgiana said softly as she followed her aunt up the narrow stairs to a room at the back of the house.

  “You will find that most of the people in the village are like that if you give them a chance. They are good people, Georgiana. I have no doubt you will get on perfectly fine here.” At the door, Ruth hesitated and looked back at her. “Do they know?”

  Georgiana shook her head. She briefly explained what had happened yesterday sans kissing Will and watched Ruth shake her head in dismay.

  “I had to leave. They would have made life unbearable. I just cannot stand it anymore.”

  “Nobody should expect you to, Georgiana,” Ruth assured her. “Well, this is your room. While you settle in, I will make us a nice hot cup of tea, and then you can tell me all about your journey here.”

  Georgiana soon found herself sitting in a cosy sitting room nursing a steaming cup of tea with a slice of fruit cake at her elbow. She had to admit the wonderful plushness of the over-padded chair she sat in seemed to envelope her and drew a blissful sigh out of her that made Ruth smile.

  “They will send him after you,” Ruth said quietly.

  Georgiana looked at her sadly. “I am not so sure, not this time.”

  “What makes you say that?” Ruth asked with a frown. “Would you mind if I speak frankly with you my dear?”

  Georgiana shook her head. “Not at all.”

  “We have been corresponding for some time over the years, haven’t we?” Ruth waited for Georgiana’s nod. “I have heard so much about your life; it has been wonderful. In a way it has brought us closer than it would have done if I had visited you often because you have told me things you probably wouldn’t tell other people–and vice versa. Over the course of time I have corresponded with a young girl, and now young woman, who has been honest about her emotions and, as a result, several problems have become glaringly obvious even to me.”

  “Like what?” Georgiana’s stomach sank.

  “Yours and Cecily’s conflicting personalities for one,” Ruth said. “It is inevitable now that you are older than you will clash at some point.”

  Georgiana nodded but didn’t speak because she sensed there was more.

  “Your disquiet about missing out on life by living in Cranbury for another,” Ruth added.

  “It’s true,” Georgiana sighed, realising that her aunt was being honest in that she truly understood Georgiana’s situation.

  “Also, your adoration for Will,” Ruth said calmly.

  Georgiana opened her mouth to argue but then closed it again with a snap. She wouldn’t lie to her aunt.

  “Do you want to tell me why he won’t come after you this time?” Ruth prompted. “I mean, he has persuaded you to return home every other time you have tried to be yourself for a few hours.”

  Indeed he had. Every time Georgiana had conflicted with Cecily resulting in Georgiana leaving the house for several hours, Will had always been the one to come after her and try to talk her into calming down and apologising-even when she hadn’t done anything wrong.

  “He is getting married to Penelope Smedgrove,” Georgiana whispered. “As soon as Cecily told me I realised just how much of a fool I had been by hoping he would see me as a person. In his eyes, I am still eight years old–a child. Last night, I had cause to see him in a completely different light and I realised that my life would never truly change unless I forced it to.”

  “He has always sided with your parents,” Ruth replied without hesitation.

  “Yes, but-” It was impossible to try to explain her temporary fall from grace to her aunt.

  “Something happened to change all that.”

  Georgiana sighed. “We kissed.”

  “So you decided to leave?” Ruth asked with a frown of confusion.

  “He made it clear it was a mistake. He was cold. Aloof.”

  “He is engaged to someone else,” Ruth finished for her.

  Georgiana nodded and, in a gushing flow of words, told Ruth everything; the skinny dipping, kissing Will, and his behaviour later in the study–even Mrs Atterton’s scorn. Given Ruth’s generosity and own open frankness, Georgiana knew deserved nothing less than complete honesty.

  “I had to leave. I realised that he would always side with my parents because he cannot see any problem with the way they see me. To all of them, I will always be a child. I cannot bear it any more. But I also cannot bear the prospect of staying there and being forced to endure the wedding preparations, all the while-” Her impassioned speech was cut abruptly short when her tears began to flow. At first, her voice croaked, but then her breath was suspended by a huge sob which escaped and released a tide of misery.

  “There, there,” Ruth murmured repeatedly while Georgiana wept as though her heart was broken.

  It was. It truly was. Georgiana’s heart was damaged, dented, battered, and bruised beyond repair. A lifeline had been torn from her body, and had no idea what to do now that it was gone. Will had always been there but now he wasn’t–he was gone, and wouldn’t ever be back. It was like being cast adrift in a storm tossed sea with no land for miles around. She was tossed this way and that but had no idea which direction she should go to steady herself so that everything would be alright again.

  “I am shocked that Will has decided to marry Penelope Smedgrove. She is that awful creature who has a laugh like a hyena isn’t she?” Ruth said in disgust.

  Georgiana nodded. “She is callous and spiteful, and an awful gossip, but she is his choice of bride.”

  “Well, it is his loss,” Ruth sighed in commiseration. “It serves the silly man right. I bet the children will be ugly.”

  Georgiana laughed huskily. “You sound just like Mr Parker.”

  “Well, we both can’t be wrong then, can we? From the sound of it, Will isn’t going to come after you this time and that will give you the opportunity to decide what you want to do.” She paused and pierced Georgiana with a longing smile. “I do so wish you would contemplate moving here permanently. Although it is an out of the way place for someone as young as you to live, it really is a wonderful village.
”

  “I had forgotten how delightful it is,” Georgiana sighed.

  “Well, you must stay here with me until you can decide what to do,” Ruth announced firmly when Georgiana had collected herself and now sat nursing the remains of her tepid tea.

  “I don’t ever want to go back to Cranbury again,” Georgiana whispered. “I don’t want to speak out of turn but I have never truly lived happily with Cecily.”

  Ruth threw her a commiserating smile. “Well, you should not be obliged to go back there. If, for some strange reason, Will does try to persuade you to go back, I will help you in any way I can. I am happy to make sure that your paths don’t cross should he appear at the door if you wish?”

  This time, Georgiana nodded enthusiastically. “I would be forever in your debt if you would be so kind,” she whispered. “I cannot deal with him right now, or my parents. When they do realise I have come here, Cecily will get someone to come and fetch me. Whoever turns up needs to be sent away again.”

  “Well, let us deal with whoever turns up when they appear, shall we? Until then, let’s consider this a permanent move.”

  The hope in Ruth’s voice was something Georgiana didn’t have the strength to quash even if she had the heart to.

  “Thank you,” Georgiana said effusively. “I can pay for my upkeep while I am here.”

  “Nonsense. I will have none of that kind of talk young lady. For now, you need to get some rest. You are falling asleep in your tea.”

  Georgiana nodded and stifled a yawn as she made her way up the stairs to her bed chamber. It was considerably smaller than her room in Cranbury but, if she was honest, Ruth’s house was much nicer. The low slung beams crossing the ceiling and old stone fireplace gave the room an old world charm that was engaging. With the fire lit, the room quickly filled with warmth and bathed everything in a golden glow which was welcoming and cosy.

  Exhausted beyond belief, mentally more than physically, Georgiana lay upon the bed, and fell into her first proper night’s sleep in a very long time.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Several days later, Georgiana was finally starting to lose the tension she hadn’t even known she was carrying. Ruth’s house had quickly started to feel more like home than her old home in Cranbury had ever been. The ease in which she had settled into life in Mecklemerry was startling, but also proved she had made the right decision in coming to live with Ruth.

  Of course, she had yet to decide what to do about writing to her father, but didn’t see the need to rush into making any decisions about when, or how, she was going to deal with her family. That would have to come later, in several weeks’ time, when Will had wed his beloved, and Cecily had realised her wailing and weeping dramatics were getting her nowhere.

  Over the last day or so Georgiana had started to contemplate the list of things she wanted to experience in her life–her ‘adventures’ as Mr Parker liked to call them. Although the list wasn’t long, and wasn’t all that adventurous by some people’s standards, for someone who had led a relatively sheltered life like her, it was about as hedonistic as she dared risk her reputation to experience.

  “To skinny dip; I have done that but I would love to experience it again. Scrump for apples. Ride bareback. Dress as a man, which I should need to do to ride bareback. Smoke a pipe; Ruth won’t have one of those. Get drunk; well, that can be arranged without too much anxiety. Wear a red dress and eat grapes.” Georgiana sighed and looked into the conservatory located just off the kitchen. Huge bunches of grapes hung from the ceiling which were ripe and edible. “Perfect. All I need is to buy a red dress, and that is another adventure made possible.”

  She studied the next adventure; to kiss a stranger and walking away. While she had once crossed that off her list because she had kissed Will and walked away, it was an incomplete adventure because Will was not technically a stranger.

  “It doesn’t count,” she sighed, and re-wrote that particular adventure at the bottom of her list. “I need to do it with a complete stranger. That would count. Now, playing poker in a gaming house; that is something I need to discuss with Ruth.”

  If there was a gaming house in the area, she had no idea if she truly understood the semantics of playing poker to be able to play there.

  “I really do need to discuss this with Ruth,” she murmured as she studied her list. “At some point, I have to either make a start on these or accept they are nothing more than a flight of fancy I would do better to forget about.”

  Even though she spoke the words aloud, something inside was already dismissing that notion. She simply refused to relinquish her goals, any of them. In spite of her dithering, she was aware deep down that she wouldn’t settle until she had crossed some of the adventures off she most wanted to try–like getting drunk.

  “No time like the present,” she murmured with a frown as she eyed the rest of the list. Now was not the time to get drunk, but it was daylight outside and perfect weather to be able to experience something on her list.

  “To scrump for apples,” she whispered.

  Dare I? She looked down at her rather plain, pale brown dress. She had brought it with her because it was something she ordinarily wore to do chores in. It was clean and serviceable, and wouldn’t upset her too much if it got ripped or soiled.

  “To scrump for apples it is then,” she murmured as she gathered her shawl about her shoulders.

  Ruth had gone into the village to fetch some provisions and intended to visit a friend before she returned. Georgiana left a note on the kitchen table to explain where she had gone before she let herself out of the house and set off down the garden.

  Half-way down the path she stopped and stared at her aunt’s orchard. To pick some apples from there wasn’t as daring as it ought to be to qualify as an adventure.

  Was it because it wasn’t really scrumping if she was just picking apples off her aunt’s tree? She had watched her brothers climbing someone else’s tree many years ago. That had seemed considerably more daring, especially when they had been chased away by the farmer who had owned the orchard.

  With that in mind, Georgiana turned her attention to her surroundings but had no idea where she might find another orchard. Nor did she intend to ask anybody because she would have to lie to them about why she was looking for one.

  “As long as I choose my tree wisely nobody need ever find out about this. This is my adventure, and a secret I need to keep to myself,” she whispered as she climbed the fence at the end of the garden and began to march across the field.

  She had no idea where she was going but it was nice to be able to savour the crisp air and brilliant sunshine on her face. It was so pleasurable that at first she completely forgot about why she was out walking, until she stumbled across a small group of trees. Beside it was a hedgerow laden with blackberry bushes, but what captured her attention was two large apple trees nestled beside the woods.

  “Perfect,” she whispered.

  The only problem she foresaw was that both apple trees and woods were located directly beside the main road leading into the village. Anybody who passed by would be able to see her.

  “I can’t let that put me off,” she sighed.

  Before wisdom prevented her, Georgiana lifted her skirts and stepped toward the tree closest to her. Minutes later, she hung several feet off the ground, her feet dangling uselessly beneath her as she struggled to find a way to get down from the tree without breaking her neck. She tried to swing her feet onto a lower branch so she was able to stand up and ease the aching in her arms. Unfortunately, her legs were nowhere near long enough to reach the branch she needed to use to reach safety.

  “Heaven help me,” she muttered in dismay when she realised she was going to fall. “As a lady of one and twenty years, I most definitely should not be climbing trees.”

  Still, an inner core of strength she never realised she possessed refused to allow her to concede defeat and drop to the floor in an undignified heap. Instead, she gritted her teet
h and began to swing her body harder. Wriggling and squirming, and shuffling along the branch awkwardly with her hands. Georgiana eventually managed to place her feet on a nearby branch and, with one last surge of energy, she propelled her body forward and grabbed hold of a higher branch. Seconds later, she was sitting high in the leaves of the tree munching on an apple.

  While she ate the sweet reward of success, she contemplated the enormity of what she had just done. It was horrible to admit it, but this was her one and only major accomplishment in life. She couldn’t remember ever having an occasion where she had set out to do something so wayward, or physically demanding, and had succeeded. It was rejuvenating; invigorating even, more so than skinny dipping had been. Although it was only climbing a tree, she had just conquered something major. She had certainly proved to herself that she had more physical strength than she had realised. She had also become aware of mental determination she hadn’t recognised before and knew now that she was inclined to see her problems through to the bitter end no matter how dire her situation. Not only that, but she was also competitive. Anything her brothers had done she was able to do as well. She was no weaker sex. She was Georgiana, a woman who was capable of succeeding at whatever she wanted to turn her mind to–she just had to be interested in it and have faith in herself.

  Unfortunately, her joy was dampened by the appearance of someone far below her.

  “Georgiana, just what in the world are you are doing?”

  Georgiana closed her eyes and silently prayed she had just imagined Will’s voice, but suspected that God wasn’t listening today. She opened her eyes and sighed deeply. Her prayers hadn’t been answered because the ground had neither swallowed her up nor spirited him away.

  “What do you want, Will?” she asked in disinterested tones.

  In spite of the wild flurry of emotions churning deep inside, Georgiana kept her face impassive, if a little bored, and glared down at him.

  “What are you doing up there?” he demanded, craning his neck up to see her through the branches.