Adoration Read online

  ‘Would you like me to help you?’ Sissy asked, launching to her feet.

  ‘No. No, dear. I will be fine. You stay here. I just need to lie down for a few moments, that’s all,’ Norma assured her.

  Sissy remained at the bottom of the stairs. When her aunt had closed the bed chamber door she returned to the chaise and her guest. ‘I apologise for her. She loves it here. It is devastating that she has to leave it.’

  ‘Have you thought about living in town?’ Alicia asked.

  ‘I haven’t really thought about living anywhere else on account of this being Norma’s house. She loves it here,’ Sissy replied.

  ‘Try not to let this worry you,’ Alicia murmured. She was surprised by the graceful way Sissy had handled the entire situation. She had remained calm and, no matter what was going through her mind, had kept her thoughts and opinions to herself. Throughout it all she had behaved with an elegant charm that was a little inspiring. So much so, Alicia began to wonder if even she had complete misread Miss Sissy Finchley. There was considerably more to the young woman than she had ever believed there to be.

  There was a time when I believed her to be nothing more than a bookish young woman who was too shy to ever join society. How wrong I have been.

  A little shamed by her assumptions, Alicia quietly took her leave of her.

  ‘Don’t move without telling me where you go,’ she urged once on the doorstep. ‘I have to tell Morgan.’ She met Sissy’s eyes and saw fear hidden in the depths of Sissy’s worried look. Alicia frowned a little. ‘He isn’t going to be angry at you. He is going to be concerned for your welfare. You should know that Morgan only has your best interests at heart.’

  Sissy didn’t answer.

  ‘What happened the other day was done by one of his acquaintances who is, shall we say, no longer one of his acquaintances.’ Alicia smiled when Sissy’s mouth fell open. ‘You are, no matter what your circumstances, acquaintances of ours. We have been friends for many years. It is not right for anybody to judge you as lacking purely because of circumstances beyond your control. You deserve consideration and respect the same as everyone else expects it from others. Morgan knows that. He was angry that his friend didn’t pay you due consideration before he so rudely brought chaos to the village. The – acquaintance – won’t be back. If you would allow me to help you, I will go to the property agent and get the particulars of houses in the area similar to this one. It might help your aunt to stop worrying if she knows that relocating won’t necessarily mean something bad.’

  ‘It would be very kind of you to do that,’ Sissy replied hesitantly.

  ‘Leave it to me,’ Alicia urged. ‘I will help you.’

  Sissy nodded her thanks. She couldn’t bring herself to admit to Alicia that the money wouldn’t allow anything more than the tiniest of properties, but if the woman wanted to help then Sissy couldn’t stop her.

  ‘Thank you,’ Sissy replied.

  ‘I will call by later,’ Alicia promised and with that took her leave of her.

  Before she departed, Alicia studied the tall property which looked as sparse from the outside as it was on the inside. It was neat and maintained but rather drab and uninspiring. With a shiver, she tugged the knee blanket over her knees and wondered how on earth Sissy and Norma were going to get through the next few weeks let alone the next several months. With a growing concern, she ordered Hargreaves to take her home and threw one last look at the house before she turned her attention to the next problem on her mind: Mariette.

  Morgan was doing the same; contemplating how he was going to get his wayward sister to stop looking down at people who weren’t as wealthy as she was.

  ‘She is a child of her age,’ Ralph murmured.

  ‘But she should be gracious to those who are not as fortunate as she,’ Morgan persisted.

  ‘She needs a husband.’

  Morgan speared him with a glare. ‘Are you offering?’

  ‘God, no. I am not that brave,’ Ralph snorted. ‘Besides, I like my life as it is. I don’t see why I should change it even for you, Morgan. I mean, you are a good friend and all that but even that is not enough for me to give up my bachelorhood. Sorry and all that.’

  Morgan grinned. ‘Well, I will just have to find someone else who will take her off my hands then, won’t I?’

  Ralph turned serious. ‘The problem is that all of her friends and acquaintances have the same attitude she has. She is likely to find herself a husband who will indulge her.’

  ‘But at least she won’t be under my roof,’ Morgan argued.

  ‘But won’t you just be creating a problem if you do manage to persuade Sissy to take you to task? It might be better if you deal with Mariette’s behaviour before she moves out from under your control. She is going to be less inclined to do as you tell her if she is no longer under your guardianship. I mean, Mariette might use the support of her husband do scorn Sissy, even if she is your wife.’

  Morgan had to concede that Ralph had a point. ‘At the moment, she is enjoying my guardianship too much to want to even try to look for a husband.’

  ‘So use that to your favour and get her to lose some of her arrogance,’ Ralph snorted. ‘She is your sister. It is up to you make her do as you tell her not the other way around. It is not up to her to dictate how much she embarrasses you, nor should her opinion affect who you wish to spend the rest of your life with.’

  ‘I only wish it was all that easy,’ Morgan sighed.

  ‘It can be as easy as you wish to make it, Morgan. Don’t you think it is about time that you set Mariette some boundaries, and made it clear to her who makes the rules around here? She lives over at the Dowager House yet swans in and out of here as if it were her own home. It doesn’t matter who you marry, no wife is ever going to be amenable to that kind of behaviour from a woman who doesn’t live at the house. It is best all around if you make it clear that Mariette is no longer a child and therefore cannot continue to do as she pleases. It isn’t appropriate for her to drop in here unannounced and make herself at home. I know you indulged her when she first moved to the Dowager House because you wanted her to understand that she wasn’t losing everything from her past life once your father died. However, times change. It is time for her to grow up. You have to start to treat her like an adult, Morgan, and stop indulging her as a young sister.’ Ralph tossed back the rest of his brandy. ‘If you don’t you are going to have some huge problems on your hands, and they could cost you your future happiness.’

  He shoved to his feet and ambled over to the window leaving Morgan to slouch back into his seat and prop his boots onto the desk before him. He stared down at the battered leather of his boots and contemplated what his good friend had just said. He knew that Ralph was very astute.

  ‘I have indulged her too much, haven’t I?’ he mused several moments later.

  ‘You have only done what any good guardian would do. You wanted to ease her distress during a time that was already difficult. However, she is no longer nine years old. Don’t you think it is time that you all moved on?’

  Morgan sighed. ‘I want to move on. I want to be able to get something more out of life. So far in life I have been very fortunate. However, I have to question that if I am not permitted to have the wife I want and children with her, what the point of it all is.’

  ‘You, my good friend, are ready to settle down and find a wife,’ Ralph mused with a wry grin. ‘I didn’t think I would ever see the day that you were prepared to do such a ghastly thing but there it is. You have openly admitted that you have contemplated marrying and now see it as a more beneficial exploit than you ever have before. The fact is, my friend, that you now understand that there are more benefits to married life than a life of bachelorhood.’

  ‘You don’t sound surprised,’ Morgan murmured.

  Ralph turned to look at him squarely in the eye. ‘That is because I am not. If I am honest, I have come to the same conclusion. I just don’t have the prospect of a Sissy in
my life and am too horrified by the prospect of venturing into the marriage mart to hunt for a wife to try it. No, as far as I am concerned, unless life is going to be benevolent enough to allow me to cross paths with an eligible female who I find attractive enough to want to wed, it isn’t going to happen. You, however, just have to pave the way to Sissy and make sure that she takes notice of you. She will, in good time.’

  Morgan contemplated his friend but wasn’t so sure. In fact, the more he thought about how he could break down all the barriers and get Sissy to look at him as a man and not a wealthy aristocrat, the more problems he found.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The following week, Sissy pushed the door to a small cottage open and peered warily inside.

  ‘Well?’ Norma demanded impatiently from behind her.

  Sissy sighed and stepped into the empty property. The first thing that hit her was the cold. It was freezing. So much so, she shivered and tugged her cloak tighter about her but there was nothing she could do about how the frigid air nipped at her nose and promptly turned it red.

  ‘The sitting room is large enough,’ she suggested hopefully, keeping her gaze carefully averted from the heavy cobwebs in the corners of the room. She turned to look at the room opposite, which was a little smaller. ‘This has a window seat.’

  Although from the look of it if you tried to sit on it you would end up on the floor with a nasty injury.

  ‘It’s horrid,’ Norma moaned.

  ‘You haven’t seen all of it yet,’ Sissy chided. ‘It would be habitable with a coat of paint. A good sweep out, and furniture.’ But even as Sissy spoke, her voice full of enthusiasm, she mentally put their furniture in the house and knew there would never be enough to make the house a home.

  ‘It’s so remote, Sissy.’ Norma made no attempt to hide just how unconvinced she was.

  ‘We can get by,’ Sissy replied firmly. ‘I am sure that we can get wood delivered, and if we stock up on food and provisions while the weather is nice we should be able to survive winter.’

  ‘What if we can’t?’ Norma demanded sharply.

  Sissy’s shoulders drooped. Her aunt was just being sensible, but Sissy also knew that Norma had to face facts.

  ‘We cannot stop at the house, Aunt. I am sorry, but Mr Lauden made it clear we have to move out. This is the only house to rent in the area. Of course, we could move further away and completely start again but you know that we don’t have much money. We cannot afford to go very far. We cannot really afford to move here. We are going to have to pay someone to use a cart and we just don’t have the money.’

  Deep inside, Sissy’s heart was breaking. She hated the thought of how much turmoil they were going to have to endure before they could settle somewhere new. She hated just how helpless they were to stop what was happening to them. They were well and truly being forced to do something neither of them wanted or were prepared for but had no option but to accept it. It was so frustrating that she wanted to rant and rave and scream at the top of her lungs against it, but she couldn’t do that either.

  ‘We cannot live here,’ Norma whispered. ‘At least we now know why the house has such low rent.’

  Sissy sighed. ‘We cannot afford anything else. I have asked Mr Igson. He has made it clear that there is absolutely nothing else. The only property he has is in the city and that has one bed chamber. I refuse to live there.’

  Norma began to dab at her eyes.

  ‘At least the roof doesn’t leak and the doors close. The shutters will close. We are just seeing it at its worst, that’s all,’ Sissy whispered, but her voice broke. She coughed to remove the lump from her throat and turned away before her aunt could see her tears. Inside, she was devastated that her life had come to this.

  ‘We need to go and have a look at the rest of it then, don’t we?’ Norma stepped toward the kitchen but barely gave the room a cursory look before she turned away.

  ‘We are going to have to take it,’ Sissy snapped when they had finished touring the rest of the house and returned to the hallway.

  Norma remained mute. By time they returned to the front door a heavy silence had descended upon them both. Norma sailed out of the door without a backward look leaving Sissy to take one last worried look at the empty property. With a sigh, she left the house and locked the door. The warmth that immediately engulfed her when she stepped outside was a welcome relief but didn’t eradicate her concern about having to move into the property.

  I don’t think anything can ease my qualms about calling this place my home. Still, it is a home. We can afford to live here, and the farmer who owns the house has a family, sons, who will take over the running of the farm when he passes on. There is very little likelihood we are ever going to have to move again. We must take comfort in that.

  With a sense of bleakness she had never felt before, Sissy hurried after her aunt. Neither of them spoke as they made their way back to the village. Sissy tried to think of something to say to brighten the atmosphere but she truly didn’t feel able to.

  ‘What do we do?’ she whispered when they reached the end of the road they currently lived on and stopped in the middle of the path.

  Norma shook her head and sighed. There was a sadness in her eyes Sissy had only witnessed when they had been forced to leave the manor house they had lived in when Sissy’s father had been alive. ‘We have no choice but to move there. We need somewhere to stay.’

  Sissy threw a look over her shoulder at the house they were going to move to. It was still visible on the horizon, if she squinted a little.

  ‘I am going to visit with Maud for a while,’ Norma announced suddenly.

  The last thing Sissy wanted to do was spend the next hour or so listening to Norma and her friend gossip. ‘I am going for a lie down,’ Sissy replied, turning away before Norma could demand she accompany her.

  ‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like to come too?’ Norma asked hopefully.

  ‘No. I really do need to think,’ Sissy replied with a kindly smile. ‘See you later.’

  She hurried off before Norma could demand that Sissy walk her to the door. Sissy knew that if she was asked to do that the second she reached Maud’s house she would be encouraged inside and would then be expected to stay and take tea. That was the last thing she felt able to do. Right now, all she wanted to do was cry.

  Minutes after leaving her aunt, Sissy let herself into the house she had, for the last several years at least, called home. But once inside the sitting room she stared at the emptiness that awaited her. While the house she was in wasn’t anything wonderful or luxurious it was considerably more homely than the cottage she had just left. Sissy shuddered in dismay. She could not see their personal belongings in the empty cottage at all no matter how much she tried to envisage it. That made her wonder what they were going to do to furnish the new house.

  It is going to be even more evident that we are impoverished if we just use what we have, but we cannot afford anything else.

  It was galling that Morgan was going to be able to see exactly how poor they were. With a sad sigh, Sissy removed her shawl and made her way into the kitchen. She was just starting to put the makings of supper together when there was a knock on the front door. Sissy cautiously hurried to the front window and peered around the shutter. She mentally cursed when her gaze clashed with Morgan’s. Slowly, reluctantly, she made her way to the front door and opened it.

  ‘Good morning, Sissy. How are you today?’

  Sissy dipped into a curtsey and tried to keep her face blank. ‘I am fine, thank you.’

  ‘Is your aunt at home?’ Morgan asked, peering around her. ‘Might I come in? There is something I need to discuss with you.’

  ‘My aunt isn’t here.’ Sissy tried to keep her gaze on the floor but the sight of him standing before her, so handsome and strong, was bewitching. She had to look up. Their eyes met. The room they were in faded. She heard nothing but her heartbeat. She felt nothing but his presence before her. Sissy stared when
she knew it was rude. She stared when she knew it was wiser to look away. Nothing could make her tear her gaze away from his. It took her a few moments to realise that he was staring at her just as determinedly and didn’t seem able to look away either.

  I doubt it is for the same reasons, though. I doubt Morgan would ever feel anything but pity for someone like me.

  That was enough to snap Sissy out of her daze. She lowered her gaze and then realised that he was staring at her because he had asked her something. She couldn’t remember what, though.

  Morgan refused to take his leave of her. Instead, he edged deeper into the room and closed the door behind him. He waited for her to remind him that it wasn’t right or proper that they were alone together. When she didn’t, he stepped closer still.

  ‘Might I persuade you to take a walk with me?’ he asked huskily. It wasn’t that he wanted to whisper or was worried that someone was going to overhear his request. He wanted her to know that his invitation was for her and her only. ‘There is something we need to discuss.’

  ‘Oh?’ Sissy tried not to look worried, but her stomach fell to her toes. ‘I don’t think that-’

  ‘Please, Sissy,’ Morgan pressed.

  ‘That would be wonderful,’ she replied eventually. The doubts that hovered in the back of her mind were pointedly ignored. She didn’t want to worry about what anybody thought if they saw her walking with Morgan. Now that she knew what her future was going to contain, she didn’t really care much about anything.

  They are going to criticise us anyway, so I may as well enjoy this moment while I can. God knows it isn’t likely to happen again.

  Sissy knew that Norma wouldn’t object to her going for a walk with him because she knew that Morgan could be trusted. So, Sissy followed him out of the house. She struggled to hide her surprise when he held a gentlemanly elbow out to her and smiled expectantly. It felt wrong to have any kind of physical contact with him, but it was churlish to refuse his silent request – wasn’t it? Touching him created a fission of awareness to shiver through her. It felt strange to be this close to him yet wonderful at the same time. Consequently, as soon as the sun brushed her face, Sissy sighed with contentment and was infinitely pleased she had made the decision to accompany him.