Adoration Read online

  Sissy had no choice but to take a seat. For a moment, all she could do was sit with her back straight and stare blankly at the wall opposite. ‘It has been one of the most enlightening and disturbing mornings of my life.’

  ‘What happened?’

  Sissy shook her head. She knew that if she had to recount everything that had just happened she would burst out crying. As it was there really wasn’t the time.

  ‘Morgan’s carriage is going to be arriving any moment now. You must get changed,’ Norma urged when it became evident that Sissy wasn’t going to talk to her.

  ‘I am not going to go,’ Sissy whispered. ‘I made excuses for you when you chose not to go to their ball. You can go to their picnic but can return the favour and make excuses for me. The picnic is the last thing I am going to go to.’

  ‘But it is too late to refuse to go now,’ Norma cried.

  ‘I cannot go,’ Sissy stated flatly. ‘Do you know what they are saying out there?’ Sissy stared at her aunt when Norma pursed her lips and slid an awkward look at the fire beside them.

  ‘You know,’ she whispered accusingly. ‘You knew they were discussing whether I was Morgan’s mistress or not yet you let me go out there this morning oblivious to it all. You knew, and yet you encouraged me to go to dinner at his home last night and then let me face them all this morning without warning. Why? Why would you do that to me?’

  Norma sucked in a breath. ‘I had heard rumours that people were wondering if your connection with him went deeper than it ought. However, I have seen how that man looks at you. I was shocked when he told me that he had purchased this house but also a little unsurprised. I think you should ask yourself why Morgan would do such a thing. I mean, Morgan hasn’t purchased any other houses in the village. Buying this one, for whatever reason, looks odd. Further, you were seen in a passionate clinch with him the other day. Going to dine has just solidified their suspicions, I am afraid.’

  ‘So why did you accept his offer?’ Sissy whispered, wondering if she had been betrayed in the cruellest way possible.

  ‘Because I wanted you to spend some time with him, in his house. I wanted you to see his mansion, his estate, and understand-’ Norma paused awkwardly.

  ‘Understand that it is a world I don’t belong in,’ Sissy finished for her.

  Hearing Norma say that she wasn’t good enough was wounding. Hurt stole her words, her peace of mind, her hopes and dreams. It made Sissy feel incredibly foolish for having dared hope for a future at all. Sissy stared at her aunt.

  ‘You saw Mariette. The spite, my dear, is something you would never be able to stop. People like her would always consider you lacking. While Morgan might protect you when he is around, he couldn’t be around all the time. What would happen if you had to face Mariette’s malice alone? They would spite you just as soon as his back was turned. They wouldn’t care if it destroyed your relationship with him because in their eyes you don’t belong in their world anyway,’ Norma whispered. ‘They will always see you as beneath them.’

  ‘You must have been pleased when your machinations came to fruition,’ Sissy whispered.

  For the first time ever, Sissy truly didn’t like her aunt. It seemed like a cruel, spiteful thing to do to encourage her to dine with Morgan just to warn her that she didn’t belong with him. ‘Have you not stopped to consider that you don’t belong there either? Or were you just too pleased to be able to dine on his good grace and favour to care?’

  Norma’s mouth fell open. She stared in dismay at Sissy, but Sissy was too disgusted in her aunt’s behaviour to care. At the base of the stairs, she paused to look at her aunt, who turned in her chair to watch her leave.

  ‘Tell me, was this something you and Alicia plotted between you?’ Sissy watched Norma blink as if she struggled to understand Sissy’s question.

  ‘Well, no. There was no plotting involved,’ Norma replied. ‘We were invited to dine and accepted. Morgan asked you, not me.’

  Sissy didn’t reply before she left the room and disappeared to her bed chamber, but not to get ready for the picnic. That was something she most definitely was going to attend no matter how much Norma refused to lie for her. But when Morgan’s carriage arrived to collect her, Sissy was shocked to find that Morgan had come himself to fetch her.

  ‘You cannot send him on his way, it is rude,’ Norma hissed.

  ‘And you would know all about considering one’s feelings, wouldn’t you?’ Sissy snapped coldly.

  Disgusted, she swiftly changed. With barely anything more than a brief glance at her curls, she gathered her shawl and sailed out of the room. Norma followed her but Sissy didn’t bother to even look at her aunt. Consequently, the atmosphere between them was rather strained when Morgan stepped into the house.

  ‘I thought I would come and fetch you and take the carriage for a drive,’ he offered when he had bowed a greeting and told Sissy how stunning she looked.

  In reality, she looked strained, uncomfortable, and distinctly out of sorts with her aunt. Norma looked equally awkward and more than a little subdued. Morgan wanted to ask what had gone wrong but was aware of the curious looks they were getting from the locals.

  ‘My mother is in the carriage,’ Morgan offered. ‘Shall we?’

  He didn’t mention that he had felt compelled to come and fetch Sissy himself because he suspected she was going to try to send her apologies at the last moment. He had no intention of giving her the chance to have second thoughts about today. It was, after all, nothing more than a picnic.

  Sissy gasped when she descended the steps at the front of her house and saw not just Morgan’s carriage, but a large cart piled high with all sorts of furniture, baskets, and servants. There was a veritable army of staff piled as haphazardly as the contents of the cart, all clutching various bits of paraphernalia for the picnic.

  ‘This reminds me so much of the picnics we used to have when your father was alive, dear,’ Norma murmured with a whimsical smile.

  Sissy didn’t bother to answer. Instead, she climbed aboard and greeted Alicia who was tucked comfortably beneath a knee blanket.

  ‘I am sure we have caused enough of a spectacle today, Morgan. Let’s get on our way, shall we?’ Alicia threw a worried look at her son.

  Morgan climbed aboard and took a seat beside Sissy. He struggled not to stare at her. Sissy looked captivating bathed in the morning sunshine. A riot of auburn ringlets danced and bobbed about the delicate porcelain features on top of which was a fine straw hat. To him she looked stunning, truly refined. It was difficult to comprehend that she was essentially as poor as a church mouse. As far as he was concerned that made her even more appealing because there was nothing pretentious about her. What he saw was someone who was polite and genteel but only because she had been raised to be that way.

  ‘How have you been this morning?’ Morgan asked Sissy once Alicia had engaged Norma in desultory conversation. They were discussing various landmarks on the landscape as it rolled past and their personal reminiscences about their visits there.

  ‘Fine, thank you.’ Sissy was aware of Norma looking at them but turned her gaze out of the window beside Morgan.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Morgan whispered for her ears alone. ‘Something is.’

  ‘It is nothing.’ To try to prove it, Sissy offered him a brave smile, but it went nowhere near her eyes and disappeared as soon as it had been attempted.

  ‘Did you have second thoughts about coming today?’ Morgan whispered.

  Sissy didn’t want to lie to him but she could see no reason to be honest either. She had wanted to send her apologies but when she had seen Morgan’s carriage pull up outside, and the curtains twitching up and down the street, a defiant part of her she barely recognised refused to cower away like she was guilty of something.

  ‘Sordid gossip is all that is wrong with me,’ she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

  ‘Bad?’

  ‘Enough for me to do my shopping elsewhere,’ Sissy murm
ured.

  Morgan frowned thoughtfully at her but with Norma and Alicia lapsing into temporary silence as well, was refrained from asking her for further detail.

  ‘Then I shall have to do the same,’ Morgan assured her.

  ‘One would assume that you would do your shopping further afield, like in town or something given it has to feed the estate,’ Sissy murmured.

  ‘Most of our shopping is delivered, my dear. Because our orders are so large, we get a lot delivered to the orangery. The staff bring it to the house from there,’ Alicia explained.

  Sissy nodded.

  ‘Sissy went to the shops this morning,’ Norma offered. ‘It appears that Morgan’s purchase of the house has everyone gossiping.’

  Alicia shared a worried look with Morgan.

  ‘Is Mariette not joining us today?’ Norma asked in a desperate attempt to break the silence.

  Morgan sucked in a breath to steady himself when he felt his temper begin to burn. ‘Mariette won’t be joining us. She is packing her belongings.’

  Norma looked shocked. ‘Oh?’

  ‘Morgan thinks it is best if she goes to stay with relations of ours up in Scotland. They live rather remotely so I am afraid Mariette is rather less than keen to go but she cannot continue to conduct herself as she is. I am afraid her behaviour the other night was far beyond the pale. It isn’t acceptable in polite society to be so crassly spoken and it is high time Mariette understood that.’

  ‘But she is only saying what everyone else is thinking,’ Sissy interjected.

  ‘I know that gossips are the same everywhere, Sissy. They can be harsh and spread the most dreadful rumours but it is often the case that time allows the truth to unfold. Those who have taken part in spreading the most scurrilous smears are often revealed to be the most spiteful and tawdry. In the long run they only let themselves down. However, it isn’t becoming for Mariette to create scenes and risk people gossiping about her poor conduct. She is expected to behave in a certain refined way, but her behaviour of late has fallen far below it.’

  ‘On many occasions,’ Morgan growled in disgust. ‘The locals will gossip because they are curious. However, nobody has cause to question any of us today. There can be no crime in taking a picnic, can there?’

  ‘There is when people think I am your mistress,’ Sissy snorted quite inelegantly. She wished she hadn’t spoken the second that an uncomfortable silence descended on the carriage, and she found herself the focus of everyone’s attention. Rather than apologise for what she had just said, Sissy looked boldly at each of them. ‘I was informed rather pointedly by several people this morning in the village that my morals are questionable seeing as I have been spending time with Morgan. They all think it preposterous that I should have ideas above my station and be so bold as to consider myself worthy of your company.’

  While Sissy kept her gaze on Alicia as she spoke, everyone knew her words were targeted at Morgan. He mentally winced and studied his mother for a moment. Alicia’s aristocratic features didn’t alter, but he saw that slight narrowing of her eyes and knew she was coldly furious.

  ‘Where did this take place?’ Alicia asked after a mile or two of silence.

  ‘In the grocery,’ Sissy replied. ‘The grocer’s wife thought it her place to tell me that I was being foolish for being seen with you although why she should consider me responsible for your decisions to call upon us only she will know.’

  Alicia nodded. ‘Well, let’s leave it all back at the village for now. They can gossip as much as they like. They aren’t out enjoying a wonderful picnic like we are, are they? Leave them to spend their day being spiteful. We can enjoy ourselves.’

  With that, everyone turned their attention out of the window for several miles until the carriage rumbled to a stop in the centre of a small meadow through which ran a small river.

  ‘How wonderful,’ Norma breathed as she stepped down from the carriage.

  On the other side of the vehicle, Morgan handed Sissy down. When he should have released her, he bent his arm and placed her hand on the crook of his elbow instead. Placing his hand proprietorially on top of hers, he patted it and offered her an encouraging smile.

  ‘If you had to consider everything that had ever happened to you on a scale, the heaviest being the worst thing you had ever been through, how would you rate this morning? Was it incredibly heavy, a little uncomfortable, or a barely noticeable burden?’

  Sissy had to think about that for a moment. ‘It was a little uncomfortable. At least I know what people are saying about me, and how little faith they have in my morals.’

  Morgan nodded and knew then that Sissy’s morning had been incredibly bad. ‘Well, that being the case there is even more of a reason to enjoy the picnic, isn’t there? Let’s go for a wander down the stream. By the time we return the table should be set up and we can have something to eat.’

  With that, everyone set off for a rather pleasant stroll along the riverbank.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  A week later, Sissy gathered her shawl and shopping basket and made her way to the front door once again. The small envelope she had tucked into her purse contained the money she owed the grocer for the groceries he had given her last week. As soon as it had been delivered, her business there was concluded. She fully intended to travel much further for the provisions she needed today, to the next village of Conley Bridge.

  ‘Where are you going, Sissy?’ Norma asked from the kitchen doorway.

  Sissy paused on the doorstep. She had thought that Norma was still in bed. It was a surprise to find Norma up and about as if she hadn’t slept well either.

  ‘I am going into town to do some shopping,’ Sissy replied.

  ‘But we only need a few groceries,’ Norma countered with a frown.

  ‘I am not going to get them from this village,’ Sissy replied flatly. ‘Of course, you are more than welcome to go yourself if you want to.’

  She hesitated and watched Norma sigh heavily. Her aunt never ventured into the shops on account of her not liking the gossips either. Until now, Sissy had been more than happy to go because she hadn’t cared at all what anybody had said about her, or so she had thought.

  But then Morgan changed all of that.

  Norma clearly wasn’t prepared to go herself today either. However, it now appeared that she didn’t want Sissy to go. Was that because Norma didn’t trust her, or didn’t want to encourage any more gossip? Whatever the case, Sissy doubted that Norma’s concern was for her niece’s welfare.

  ‘No. No, you go,’ Norma offered. ‘I am sure the journey will do you good. Is Morgan not taking you?’

  ‘You and I both know that Morgan hasn’t been around here since the picnic last week. Why should you assume that I have spoken with him? You are here all the time. You know he hasn’t called at the house,’ Sissy snapped.

  ‘I wasn’t questioning you,’ Norma soothed.

  ‘Really? Because that is how it sounds,’ Sissy countered. Because she could feel herself losing her temper with her aunt, Sissy picked her basket back up and turned to the door.

  ‘How long will you be?’

  Sissy paused with her hand on the door and turned to glare at her aunt. ‘As long as it takes,’ she growled before slamming out of the house.

  She marched down the street toward the main road in more turmoil than she could remember experiencing in her entire life. She barely even saw the curtains twitch anymore. She did nothing more than glare at the young women who hurried past her, still whispering and giggling as they slid sly looks at her. They blinked as if not expecting to be challenged and stopped their malice completely while they hurried past. Sissy tipped her chin up and sailed right past them.

  At the door to the grocery shop, Sissy slid the envelope containing the money she owed grocer under the door. She was just turning to leave for the ticketing office when a large, highly polished carriage pulled alongside her. Alicia slid a window down and peered out at her from within its roomy d
epths.

  ‘Good morning, my dear. How are you today?’ she called with a ready smile.

  Sissy smiled at the woman’s good humour. It was a welcome relief that Alicia was pleased to see her and didn’t seem to regard her as having done something wrong.

  ‘I am well, thank you,’ Sissy replied politely. ‘Yourself?’

  She doubted Alicia had heard her because she was busy peering at the shop behind her. Sissy looked over her shoulder and saw the grocer moving about behind the shop door. Behind him she could see his wife, hovering in the window, trying to catch a glimpse of who Sissy was talking to.

  Alicia suddenly pushed open the door and elegantly descended the carriage with all the grace of royalty. She looked up and down the street as if having never been there before and turned another ready smile on Sissy. ‘I have been meaning to come and have a word with you. I have just returned from visiting a sick relation and am about to depart for Scotland.’

  ‘Are you going to stay with relatives as well?’

  ‘God, no,’ Alicia huffed so quickly that Sissy smiled. ‘I wouldn’t be seen dead anywhere as remote as my cousin’s house. It is out in the middle of nowhere, which is why it is so perfect for Mariette.’

  Sissy coughed to hide her grin and nodded sagely but Alicia hadn’t finished taking her into her confidence.

  ‘I am going to escort her to make sure that she actually completes the journey. Mariette is so headstrong that I don’t put it past her not to end the journey and spent her time living a life of luxury in a hotel, expecting Morgan to pay her bills,’ Alicia sighed. ‘I don’t know where it all went wrong with that girl, I really don’t.’

  Before Sissy could reply, the grocery shop door was suddenly yanked open, and the grocer stumbled out. He threw a dark look at his wife who hovered in the doorway and dipped into a curtsey, but Alicia’s cold look made it clear she wasn’t prepared to exchange pleasantries.

  ‘It is a wonderful morning, ma’am,’ the grocer cried, barely giving Sissy a second look.

  ‘It is indeed,’ Alicia murmured, frowning a little at the direct snub Sissy had just received.