Hopeless Heart (Regency Romance) Read online

  “We are going to talk about this,” Will snapped hauling her to a stand-still before him.

  “Why do you always try to put me down?” she cried, yanking her elbow out of his grip. “I have done nothing to you. I am nothing to you. Why are you here?”

  “I don’t always put you down,” Will protested.

  “Yes, you do. You always ignore the things I want just to please my parents. You are always ignoring what I want. You are always ignoring me. Why, I might as well be a piece of furniture for all you care. You are just like my parents. Go away,” she snapped. “I don’t wish to speak to you anymore.”

  “Georgiana, don’t upset yourself so.” Will’s voice turned placating, but he got no more than three steps away from her when she turned a glare on him that would have molten lava.

  “Don’t you dare patronise me,” she hissed. She had to get rid of him because she was positive she was going to be sick sometime soon and didn’t want to lose whatever pride she had left.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “I am just concerned about you,” Will reasoned.

  Georgiana waved at her dress. “Well, you have seen that I am perfectly alright so you can go now.”

  It galled him to have to admit it but his friendship with Georgiana wasn’t there anymore. He had no idea when everything had changed, but it was quite evident that Georgiana didn’t consider him anything more than an irritation, someone who was too much like her relatives to be trusted.

  “You need to sober up a little. Then we can talk properly,” Will sighed. He waved toward a chaise in the hope she would sit down before she fell down but she refused to budge.

  “Get out of this house,” she snapped.

  “I just want to find out what happened to make you run all the way here,” Will reasoned.

  “I didn’t run. I decided to move that’s all. When nobody appeared to listen to me, I decided to take matters into my own hands and go. But this is nothing to do with you because we are not married, you are not my brother, and you are certainly not my parent. It is not for you to try to tell me what to do anymore, Will. I am not a child. Get used to it. I am sorry if you don’t like what you see, but I don’t care. This is me. What I do in the privacy of my home is none of your business.”

  Will stared at her. He was shocked that they were having their first argument. In the past, he had always put his opinions forward, forcefully if he had to, and Georgiana had always acceded to them. Now, there was a fire in her eyes that had never been there. It was clear she had no intention of listening to him. This was the first time that the battle-lines had been drawn. He hadn’t anticipated them being on opposite sides. In the past, they had always been together, a united front, against her parents. Now, he realised that the line had moved, and he hadn’t even seen it. It rocked his world and made him wonder what else he had missed.

  “I am just worried about this sudden change in you,” Will said quietly.

  “I have wanted to do it for a long time,” Georgiana whispered. “You just didn’t notice.”

  She had no idea if she was talking about him not noticing her, or the way she felt. Either way, it was too much for her muddled mind to understand so she left well alone. She had already said too much.

  “I want you to go now. You need to tell my parents that I am fine, but have no intention of returning to Cranbury,” she said flatly.

  Before Will had the opportunity to say anything, Georgiana lurched toward the door and swiped the brandy bottle off the table as she left the room. The thumps and bumps of her bouncing off the walls as she traversed the hallway made him shake his head in disbelief. He followed her, just to make sure she didn’t fall flat on her face, and watched as she slumped into a dejected heap in front of the fireplace in the kitchen, and took a swig of the brandy.

  “Can I have some?” he asked, eyeing the goblet on the table beside him. He picked up the piece of parchment and read the neatly penned list written in Georgiana’s handwriting. “My wish list?” His brows lifted.

  “Mind your own business,” Georgiana grumbled but made no attempt to take the list off him. That would mean getting out of her chair and she wasn’t sure that was possible. Instead, she satisfied herself with glaring at him but he didn’t even notice. He was too busy poring over her list of adventures.

  “I want some of that brandy,” Will ordered when he dropped the list back onto the table.

  He relieved her of the bottle and filled the goblet he held to the brim, not because he needed the drink but there was less for her to imbibe if he drank the majority of it. He was far better at holding his alcohol than she was. Unless he was much mistaken, this was most probably the first time she had ever been drunk. He didn’t ask her if it was, though. Given her volatility right now she would probably throw something at him.

  Sighing, he took a long slug of the brandy and tried valiantly to ignore the sulky pout on her lips that made him want to kiss her. He wondered if he should try it just to see if she would take a swipe at him, which he doubted she would be able to manage given how clumsy she was. Moreover, he wanted to make her want him, just so he could prove to her that they were not on opposite sides of the battle lines, but friends. Well, acquaintances. When he automatically baulked at that he quickly closed off all thoughts of what Georgiana was to him, and took a seat opposite her.

  “Your wish list is intriguing,” he murmured. “These are all the things you have seen me and your brothers do but have never been allowed to try, isn’t it?”

  He wasn’t surprised when she didn’t deny it. He studied the list on the table thoughtfully. Her parents would never condone her involvement in anything on the list.

  “Are you here just to complete your list?” he asked with a frown. Now he had read it, he had a better insight into what all of this was actually about. All he had to do now was decide what he should do about it.

  “If you don’t wish to go home, then that is your choice, Georgiana,” he reasoned when she ignored him. “There is nothing I can do to force you, but I would urge you to write a letter to your father to inform him of your decision. It would help if Ruth wrote to him to tell him that it is acceptable for you to stay here. Any financial arrangement they enter into is between them. It doesn’t have anything to do with me. I am here merely because I am concerned about you. Since I have arrived here I have seen you do far more than I had ever imagined you would ever contemplate ruining your reputation for. It is so out of character from the Georgiana I am used to that I just want to make sure you won’t put yourself in any danger.”

  He didn’t tell her as such but he was immensely reassured that several items were marked off her list already meaning she had no intention of ever going skinny dipping again. The last thing he wanted was for anybody else to witness what he had seen the last time she tried it.

  “Who is the stranger you kissed?” He asked curiously, slightly disturbed by the surge of jealousy that swept through him at the prospect of her being in someone else’s embrace.

  “You,” she said flatly as she took a swig of her brandy and ignored his startled glance.

  “Me?” Will spluttered. “But I am no stranger.”

  “Yes, you are,” she replied firmly. “The children we were are long gone.”

  Will looked at her. She was right. A strange, almost stilted silence settled over them as they both considered that for a moment.

  “We can try to be friends again, as adults this time,” he suggested gently.

  Georgiana was already shaking her head. “It isn’t right, is it? Your fiancé won’t appreciate you being friends with me. Face it, your life is taking you into marriage. Mine has brought me here. Even if you ignored the miles apart, our lives are going in completely opposite directions. We only had a childhood in common, and that is over now. If you wish to stay my parents’ messenger then that is your choice, but don’t except me to do what you ask of me anymore than I will accede to their wishes.”

  Will nodded. He had to accept t
hat not least because the evidence of her feminine maturity was before him, lovingly encased in black and red silk. She was stunning. So damned beautiful she made his teeth ache, and it made it even more difficult for him to walk away from her. He suspected that if he did, it would be the last time he saw her. It was awful.

  His sleep had been ruined because of the haunting images of her nakedness that had refused to leave him. Now, having seen her up a tree, and been the recipient of her amorous kisses, he would never rest until he saw with his own eyes that she was alright. Now that he had seen her list, the rest of the items were things that were likely to put her reputation at risk if anybody ever caught her. Not only that, but curricle racing was dangerous. If she tried it, Heaven only knows what would happen to her.

  Face it, you just can’t walk away, he sighed.

  Strangely, he had never been this reluctant to walk away from any other woman before, especially Penelope Smedgrove. Although he liked Penelope; she was charming, witty, and had excellent manners and connections, he didn’t experience one ounce of the feelings that slammed into him whenever he was with Georgiana.

  Georgiana made him so irritable sometimes that he wanted to peel his own skin off. At other times, she was so darned funny that she had him in stitches. Most of the time, he found himself storing up amusing anecdotes and experiences to share with her the next time they met. Life was never boring around her; it was as adventurous as she was. To not have her in his life anymore was something he couldn’t countenance.

  “Georgiana?”

  Georgiana studied him. As she did, the now familiar ache deep in the centre of her chest began to build again. She suspected that this would be the last time they were ever alone again. Should she make him understand? After all, she wouldn’t have to face the embarrassment of having to see him every time she stepped out of the house.

  If only it was that simple, she sighed as she took another slug of brandy.

  Strangely, the rather cosy warmth the alcohol had given her after the first few sips had now turned into a deep melancholy that made her want to cry.

  “I am aware that you mean well,” Georgiana whispered. She forced herself to meet his gaze. “But you can’t help me.”

  “You came here to fulfil your list of things to do.”

  “My life has been so confined that I just need space. Everybody else is moving on with their life yet I am–was–stuck in Cecily’s world of social functions and snobbery. It is not for me. It is not who I am. I hate it,” Georgiana whispered tearfully.

  She realised then that it was the world Will lived in. He was a Lord of the realm, for Heaven’s sake. Part of a social elite who survived on connections and socialising with other wealthy, like-minded people. While it didn’t help ease her heartache, it brought forward wisdom that assured her she had done the right thing in stopping torturing herself. She had to accept that she would never belong in his world-it wasn’t for her. He wasn’t for her. He belonged to Penelope Smedgrove.

  “I wish you well,” she replied, and offered him a wobbly smile. “Unfortunately, when your mother told Cecily you were to marry, Cecily launched into a strategic plan of wedding preparations that made me wonder if I was the one getting married. It was horrendous. It was impossible to tolerate any longer and I realised that I had to do something because nobody even listened to me anymore.”

  Will suspected he was one of them and was immediately assaulted with guilt. It was clear that he hadn’t seen her because if he had he would have noticed just how stunningly gorgeous she was–both inside and out. She had changed so much, right under his very nose, and he had been too immersed in his own life to notice.

  She is right. We are not children any more.

  What this meant for their future he wasn’t sure yet. Somehow, he had to find a way of remaining a part of her life whether he married Penelope Smedgrove or not.

  Will nodded. “If I am honest, Georgiana, I find your mother overbearing as well. I have no idea how you have managed to live with her for as long as you have. But, I have a long acquaintance with your family, and am somewhat obligated to help them if they call upon me.” He looked her in the eye. “Especially where you are concerned.”

  In more romantic circumstances she would have been thrilled at his choice of words, if it were not for the fact that he was someone else’s fiancé. It made his comment bittersweet for Georgiana.

  The silence thickened between them and began to grow uncomfortable. Will was unsure what to do or say to broach the stiffness that forced their gazes apart and set them a world away from each other.

  “I need to go to bed.” She pushed out of her chair and staggered from one piece of furniture to another until she reached the door. When she looked back at him her eyes grew wide when she realised he had followed her and now stood directly behind her.

  “Georgiana, just listen to me, please?”

  “I am not going back,” she replied.

  “Alright,” he sighed.

  “I am not interested in any argument you put forth,” she said firmly. “I will write to inform them, of course I shall, but in my own time.”

  “Good, that’s all I want you to promise me.”

  She squinted suspiciously at him. “All?”

  Will nodded. “I also want you to let me help you with your list,” he suggested calmly.

  “Pardon?” She blinked up at him. Had he just offered to help her?

  “You should not go to a gaming house alone. It is not the kind of place your aunt should go either. It would be much safer if you went with me. While I don’t want you to get involved with gambling, there is no risk to you if we visit one together. Allow me to go with you?”

  Georgiana studied him. She wanted to accept his offer, but if he went with her he would not allow her to play poker. He would undoubtedly take a dim view of her doing that as much as he had objected to her getting drunk, or going skinny dipping, or her wearing her wonderful new dress.

  “Thank you for your offer but I am already going with someone else,” she lied before she changed her mind.

  “Who?” Will shot back. Possessiveness slammed through him so swiftly that he stumbled a little beneath the force and speed of it.

  “A very kind gentleman who lives nearby,” Georgiana replied obliquely, but made no attempt to expand because she had just lied. “Thank you for your offer anyway, but I cannot let my escort down.”

  Will watched her stumble into the hallway and slowly followed. He tried to keep his mind off the fact that she looked as though she had just tumbled out of someone’s bed. Her hair lay in tousled abandon atop her head, loose tendrils of which lay in glorious abandon against her pale cheeks. Her bosom heaved indignantly beneath the tight silken material of the dress which had been designed particularly to emphasise the glorious bounty God had graced her with. It worked too because he wanted her with a need that bordered on desperation.

  When Georgiana whirled to face him, the hallway began to dim. She cried out in alarm, and reached out to try to grab the bannister only to find it too far away. In its place was Will, who stepped forward and placed his hands around her waist to hold her upright. In doing so he drew so close that she had to tip her head back and glared at him. She placed her hands instinctively on his chest; at first to push him away. When his heat warmed her fingers, she clung to his solid strength instead. Fatalistically she watched her fingers curl into the soft material of his shirt, and knew she was lost.

  “Georgiana,” he whispered, making no attempt to keep the note of longing out of his voice. Words failed him. Nothing mattered except them, in the hallway, alone. The temptation she presented him was far too much to ignore the second longer. Before he realised what he was doing, Will captured her lips with his.

  Georgiana’s world slammed to a halt, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol she had imbibed. Nothing mattered except this moment. It was wonderful. It was stupendously captivating. It was bittersweet. Not least because she knew nothing could ever c
ome of it.

  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy it, she thought defiantly as she revelled beneath the possession of his soft lips which neither plundered nor threatened. Instead, they merely lingered upon hers, giving her the time to adjust to his nearness and decide whether she wanted to return the caress or not.

  Patiently, he waited until she sighed and relaxed against him. He then deepened the kiss and began to plunder. When her rounded curves met his strength, and fitted into every muscle, bone, and sinew to perfection, Will was lost and gave himself over to doing what he wanted for a change.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  The passion that flared to life was so fierce they were both carried along on a tide of desire neither of them had the strength to resist. Hands clawed at clothing as they both staggered into the sitting room. Lips mated, bodies entwined. There wasn’t an ounce of space between them as Will backed her into the room in search of somewhere they could get closer.

  When her knees touched the back of the chaise, Georgiana began to fall backward. This time, Will made no attempt to catch her and followed her down onto the chaise. He waited for her to object to his weight above her when he settled over her, but she clawed at him, refusing to allow him to do anything but surrender. This time she wasn’t going to allow him to withdraw, regroup, or deny her. She revelled in everything he had to give and wanted more. When he began to plunder deeper and deeper with his lips, his hands inched over every delicious curve beneath him. Georgiana writhed beneath him, desperate for more. His heavy muscles rippled beneath Georgiana’s fingers and held her captivated. At some point since leaving the hallway, his shirt had ridden higher and revealed the soft, warm flesh of his back. Tentatively, her fingers began their foray beneath the soft material of his shirt. She waited for him to object, or draw back again like he did last time. When he groaned low in his throat but didn’t stop her when she delved deeper beneath his shirt and delighted in the newfound sensation of being able to touch him.